An Uncapped Pen

May 4, 2009

Recurring Dreams, Planes Crashing

Filed under: About Me — cindylv @ 7:42 pm
Tags: ,

I’m always on the ground watching. I always sense the plane before I see it. I always know it’s right behind me, just overhead. And I always know it’s going to crash.

I hate this dream. I feel heavy, unable to move, unable to help, unable to turn and run, unable close my eyes. I look up and see the belly as it swooshes by, just out of reach. I brace myself for the battering jet blast, the earpiercing roar of the engines. I imagine the pilot wrestling the controls.

I’m helpless. I feel an enormous weight inside my body, pinning me to the ground. I want to scream, flail my arms, hold the plane up, nudge it away from the ground and send it safely on its way.

It always crashes, cartwheeling into the ground in flames. I can see the blast coming, feel the wind whip my hair, my eyes squint but never close. I feel the impact of broken pieces slamming into the ground and watch as flaming debris settles around the main fuselage.

I usually wake up at this point, recognize that it’s another plane crash dream, and reluctantly go back to sleep. I know that when this dream visits me, I can expect to see it three or four more times that night. Sometimes, after the second or third time I am able to move myself out of the situation before the plane hits the ground.

Sometimes the plane is a passenger jet, sometimes it’s a military model. Once, after watching the USAF Thuderbirds airshow, I dreamt of a flight of F-16s crashing one after another.

Last night it was a huge cargo plane, possibly a C-5. I was on the roof of a parking garage near the Spaghetti Bowl (the intersection of Hwy 95 and I-15) in Las Vegas. A enormous formation of Air Force planes flew overhead from the West toward Nellis AFB. I felt THE plane, the C-5, behind me. I knew in an instant that this was the one that would crash. Before I saw the plane, I knew it would roar over my head, sink toward the earth and the tip of wing would clip the ground, sending it into a cartwheel. And then in my dream, I felt the plane fly just over my head, saw the belly, felt the jetwash, heard the engine and watched it fly into the ground, just as I had imagined it seconds before.

During the dream, I’m terrified. I know I won’t be hurt, but I’m always afraid. The other common feeling is intense sadness. I know what’s going to happen before it does. I know it’s going to be awful, and I’m powerless.

Anxiety, feeling out of control, fear, sadness, helplessness. Is this the message my subconscious is sending me?

I hate this dream.

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11 Comments »

  1. Wow…Do you think this goes back to your Military past?

    Comment by angel — May 4, 2009 @ 9:09 pm | Reply

    • I’m not sure. I’ve never actually seen a plane crash. When I was stationed in FRG, we lived near Zweibrucken AFB, but nothing bad ever happened there. Who knows?

      Comment by cindylv — May 5, 2009 @ 5:15 pm | Reply

  2. Why is it recurring dreams are never the pleasant ones? Is it because it’s harder for us to learn the things the unpleasant dreams have to teach us, so we have to be beat over the head with them?

    Maybe the message your subconscious is sending you is, no matter what happens, you won’t be harmed. There will be sadness and loss and fear, but ultimately you will come through it whole.

    {{{Cindy}}}

    Comment by Piglet, MPH — May 5, 2009 @ 12:19 pm | Reply

  3. Why is it that recurrent dreams never seem to be the pleasant ones? Is it because it’s harder for us to learn what unpleasant dreams have to teach us without having it beaten into us?

    Perhaps the message your dreaming mind is trying to send you is that you will basically be OK. You will be afraid, you will be sad, you will be powerless, but ultimately you will be whole.

    {{{Cindy}}}

    Comment by Piglet — May 5, 2009 @ 4:27 pm | Reply

    • OH NO! In addition to recurring dreams, I’m have recurring comments on the recurring dreams! It’s just like in the dream, where the tiniest details change from one version to the next. And THAT is where the message hides! Let’s see now . . . the first time I had this comment, Piglet said: “Why is it that recurring dreams [are never] the pleasant ones, verses [never seem to be] the pleasant ones. Is the secret that THINGS ARE NEVER AS THEY SEEM? Hmmm……

      Comment by cindylv — May 5, 2009 @ 5:19 pm | Reply

      • Bwa-ha-ha-ha… my diabolical plan is working!

        Oh, wait, I didn’t really say that, did I? Of course not. Piglet is never diabolical. Dialectical, diacritical, diaphragmatic, diapasoned perhaps, but never diabolical.

        Actually, it’s my work PC; something’s gone haywire with my browser and it’s not retaining things like my WordPress logon. I sent the first comment, it never showed, I tried again, that never showed, but here on my Mac, ta-daaaaa! I wrote it better the first time.

        I heart Macintosh. PCs are tools of the Devil. **piglet ducks thrown bricks, assorted rotting vegetables, and a couple of dead chickens**

        Comment by Piglet, MPH — May 5, 2009 @ 8:47 pm

      • Macs and PCs? Can’t we all just get along? (In my house, my Mac is on the dining room table/writing desk, and my husband’s PC is on the coffee table in front of the TV. And 24.3 feet separate the two. And that’s how they like it! (And that would be dead chik’n, not chicken. Right?)

        Comment by cindylv — May 5, 2009 @ 10:27 pm

      • Probably depends on who’s throwing it. All the vegetarians I know are Mac people. :-)

        Comment by Piglet, MPH — May 6, 2009 @ 11:43 am

  4. i’m looking for a reason I keep having the plane crash dream (planes always crash into me)… i’d like to talk to you about it if you have developed some further insight to it through networking.
    Thanks

    Comment by sarah — June 10, 2009 @ 5:26 am | Reply

    • Sorry Sarah, I’m still looking for answers myself. Can you tell me more about your dreams?

      Comment by cindylv — June 11, 2009 @ 5:20 am | Reply

  5. You took the words right out of my mouth. My entire life, I have dreamed of crashes. I have never been on them, although sometimes loved ones are. The scenery always changes, but I’m always on the ground, well aware something will happen. The skies are always gloomy, and I am surrounded by a few people, afraid to speak of my guy feelings.

    I also grew up with the tendency to run outside if I heard a plane or hot air balloon. Still to this day, I find myself looking to the skies for whatever reason EVERY time I go outside. I started staying indoors, and have been recovering from a severe vitamin deficiency on and off for years.

    I feel best when I look to the heavens, but once I close my eyes, I know there is a chance I will be haunted by yet another crash.

    If you want to talk, feel free to email me. I know it’s easier to understand ourselves when someone else can learn with us, understanding as much as possible.

    Comment by Aubrey — August 9, 2012 @ 10:42 pm | Reply


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