An Uncapped Pen

October 18, 2007

Seasons Pass

Filed under: About Me — cindylv @ 5:50 pm
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Halfway through October and the holiday season looms on the horizon. Time to crawl out from under the rock where I’ve been hunkered down avoiding the summer heat. Hunker: to shelter in a defensive position. Hmmm… Second definition is: to figuratively apply oneself seriously to a task. I was going to use the “hunker” excuse to explain my writer’s block, but instead I choose to turn it around and use it as a commitment to resume writing my novel.

LOOKING FORWARD:
sweaters
several days alone
completing my rewrite of Chapter 6
reading “Structuring Your Novel”
walking The Beast
my pedicure appointment
Thanksgiving with our neighbors and their parents from Austin, TX
CAN WALK Las Vegas (and my Max Martini friends)
a quiet Christmas

I don’t like endings. In high school, I used to dread the end of the day. Maybe “dread” is too strong. Mourn? I mourned the passing of another day, another chance missed, opportunity lost. The end of summer feels the same. A sense of loss, the end of the year. The trees dropping their leaves, grass dying, fields left bare. Cloudy skies and heavy air — summer’s gone and now it’s gray ’til May. I don’t mind the end of winter or Spring with the promise of sunshine and new life all around.

Grandma and Mom always got depressed in the winter, missing family members who were no longer with us. I remember watching other people embracing the change of season, looking forward to winter and the holidays and I never understood why. Then I moved out west where I enjoy 350 days of sunshine every year. After 25 years, I have finally learned to appreciate a rainy day. Now I long for a day when I can just listen to the rain beat the dust into submission, smell the desert sage and creosote perfume and look for worms on the sidewalk.

Last night I sat on the patio bundled up, sipping hot of tea, and took a deep breath of crisp air. And I did not cough–no dust in the air! Sweet honeysuckle and jasmine, and just a hint of mesquite from a neighbor’s firepit. I watched the twinkling lights of our boys in blue as they raced overhead and enjoyed the sound of freedom in the night sky. I looked for my favorite constellations: Cassiopeia, Pleiades and Orion. I saw a satellite whiz by a few miles up. And I let go of summer and my litany of regrets.

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